Say a Prayer for Me

may you be free from harm. 
may you be free from physical suffering.
may you be free from mental suffering.
may you have ease of well-being. 

--lame old Buddhist prayer

Peace and Joy, Camper.

When Your Uncle Jerry was a young whippersnapper, he rented an apartment in an old brick house down the street from a Catholic church. His landlady was a church-going widow, whose name was Charlene Cash.

Cash was short and round and cheerful—a dumpling in a floral-print housedress. She was 75 years old, with blue-white hair, and she was in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. Because she was from Paducah, Kentucky, some people thought she was clueless. And the Alzheimer’s, of course. But Uncle Jerry loved her just the way she was.

At the time, Your Uncle Jerry was recently divorced, and might have had a girlfriend or two. He was into jazz and poetry and putting on airs. So, to Cash, of course, Uncle Jerry was an atheist. A rascal. But Cash didn't mind the flowers he brought her. In fact, like most women, she loved to flirt with a dangerous man, and she loved it that Uncle Jerry could fix the furnace or find her lost keys.

One thing that Cash never forgot was to walk down to church every morning for early Mass. Uncle Jerry used to ask her what would happen if she missed it--would God forget where she lived? "Rascal," she'd say.

One sunny wonderful Illinois morning, Cash was walking past his kitchen window on her way to church. And, "Cash!" called Uncle Jerry. "Say a prayer for me while you're on your knees, okay?"

And without even looking up, this distracted old lady replied, "Oh, Honey. I always say one for ALL poor devils and sinners!"

Joy and peace.

Surprising Carmen

The opera Carmen should not interest the decent spectators
who come to the Opera-Comique with their wives and daughters.
-- Early Critic of Bizet's Carmen

Peace and joy, Camper, and welcome once again to Your Uncle Jerry’s Opera Corner.

These days, more and more young people, when faced with the painful disappointments and desires of romance, are turning to the opera. There they find clearer and more believable answers than anything they’ve heard from their parents or their video games. Understandable. Your Uncle Jerry loves the opera, too, but one must keep a critical distance on these matters. A tenor in love is not necessarily your best role model. Especially in Carmen, the world’s most popular opera.

Let’s have a look at Don José. In case you missed this, Camper, José’s backstory includes killing a man who stole his woman. True, true, there is an upside to crimes of passion. Women love a man with passion, a man with a past. On the other hand, passion started José’s trouble before, and it will soon get him in trouble with Carmen—and I don’t mean the good kind. What José is missing is poetry.

I know, I know. Poetry alone is a check with insufficient funds; poetry without passion is a kiss without a moustache. But listen, passion alone is a roller-coaster of anguish at the Hotel California Amusement Park. Don’t take that ride, Camper. Why? Brush up on your 1970s pop music.

Look, pal. Within the heart of the woman you love, there is a Carmen; coquettish and demanding and jealous and, most of all, independent. There are two things that will totally drive her away. One is an obsession to control her. The other is letting her control you. Both of these are the natural offspring of passion, and José has both in spades.

A woman likes to be surprised by her man. Surprise is poetry to her, even when it comes from a doof like you. And no, by surprise, we are not talking about showing up with flowers in your red leather thong. Surprise means she can’t quite predict you; being unpredictable is a form of resistance. And there, my friend, is the irony of love in life and opera. Lovers find resistance fascinating. Why? Because love needs a little friction to keep it warm.

What makes Carmen go cold is a man who can’t stop adoring her for one minute, who gives up everything, jumps at her command. Loses himself. This creeps her out. Oh, she may string him along for awhile, but as he loses control, she loses respect for him. A more sensible Don José would marry the girl his mother picked out, and would then quietly take a series of wonderful lovers, perhaps including Carmen. (Oh please. It was the 19th century.) This is keeping poetry and passion in proper balance.

Dear old Don José, like so many tenors, is passionate but dim. When he shows up in the last act to win Carmen back, he pleads: “There is still time; we can make this work.” And does this work? “Dude, your threats are bad enough, but you’re so booooring. Kill me, please, so I hear no more of your endless raving about love.” Being dim, unfortunately, doesn’t mean being harmless. And—spoiler alert—he kills her.

The tenor may be a wonderful singer, but, No, the one you need to watch is the baritone—the toreador. To him, love is a gamble; he knows that going in. Flirtatious yet aloof, bold yet gallant. Full of passion but quick with a poem. Yes, the baritone loses the girl as often as not, but the point is that he never loses himself.

Joy and peace.